BienthoughtsMuyBienthoughts

one stupidity at a time won't hurt, will it?

touché.


This entry was written few months ago, when everything in my life, I thought, was acting just normally fine and I was wrong. I can say that that was another phase in my life where I need to know who I really am and what are the things that I really want to do. Funny but as far as I know, we all go through this stage and the last time I checked, no one has skipped it (yet).

There was this one time when I was hanging out with my good friends Christian and Deejay and we were talking shit and all these stuff about life dramas, relationship, religion, computer games, etc., we came to a topic discussing our own point of views about SEX;  and talking about sex, when the two of them were already thrashing out their own shit about it, I was really empty (empty like I didn’t know what to share; I didn’t have any POVs; I didn’t know how to thrash talk with them about my own experiences, etc.,) because I got nothing to contribute in the conversation. I honestly told them that I only had it once and that was it. I got nothing more. I felt ashamed, mortified that at my age, I didn’t get to enjoy the “real” pleasure of it. Hahaha. Not too late anyway, right? I’m only 23.

OK, touché!

But it wasn’t just about SEX, actually. It’s more than that. It’s actually more on experiencing life at its best without having to regret in the end. Something like that. During the conversation, I realized a lot of things and that’s how I came out with this drama below:

**********************************************************************************************

I Will Never Stop Until I find Myself

I thought my world was big enough…

but I guess I was wrong!

 

I thought the crowd I have was good enough to show me

how the real world works,

 

but it wasn’t…

 

I guess I’m running late,

at least that’s what they said,

but I hope I didn’t miss a lot…

 I really hope I didn’t…

 

I got stuck in a dimension where I thought everything was working just normally fine;

where my life was just as common as everyone else;

where exploring life means going beyond my restrictions;

and where going out of my standard circles would mean stupidity.

 

For the longest time, I have deprived myself of seeing the world in a different view, in a different angle, in a different perspective, in a different direction.

And because of it, I got caught in a very small, eccentric, peculiar situation where I am right now.

 

Sluggish.

not ignorant nor innocent;

not childish nor childlike,

just in between,

always isolating…

 

And I want to see the world now,

no matter how shallow it claims to be…

 

It’s better late than never, isn’t it?

 

(now hear me laugh my ass off! I can hear you too… ha-ha-ha!)

**********************************************************************************************

This Shirt is cool (?)

This Shirt is cool (?)

Few days ago, I happened to see an adolescent statement T-Shirt with a one liner on it that says: ‘Virginity is not dignity; it’s just the lack of opportunity’.

That line really engrossed me and being born and brought up in a not-so-but-almost-conservative family, I had never thought of it in that manner. Was it just something that the adolescent did to clutch some attention or did he consider it cool as today’s definition of cool is – anything against tradition or anything abnormal?

Virginity is not dignity; it’s just the lack of opportunity. Errrrr, that just made me feel real ugly. Ouch!

Have a magnificent day! 🙂

2009/06/23 - Posted by | Sari-saring Katangahan.

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