Of Pride and Humility.
Maybe you should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you dream of, and want to do.
“Life is only traveled ONCE; Today’s MOMENT becomes Tomorrow’s MEMORY. Enjoy every moment, good or bad, because the GIFT of LIFE is LIFE itself.
Hindi ko alam kung saan ako magsisimula ngayon. Hindi ko alam kung papaano ko gagawing kaiga-igaya muli ang aking mga ginagawa sa buhay. Pakiramdam ko kasi sobrang gulo ng buhay ko nitong mga nakaraang araw and the worst already came to worst and I am no longer performing that well. I am demotivated and I think I need to do something to change it, otherwise, I’m sure as hell, I’d be in misery shall another worst comes to worst. Nakakalungkot lang that it had to end this way pero ang iniisip ko na lang, the Good Lord is now working on His plans for me. I’m sure it’s for my own sake, I just need to have faith and believe that tomorrow, there shall be a better opportunity for me.
To all the friends I’ve made, maraming salamat. Hindi ito isang pamamaalam, alam mo yan. It’s just a new beginning and chapter in my life and I have to leave to start anew. Nakapag-desisyon na ako at matagal ko itong pinag-isipang mabuti. The good Lord has spoken and I heard Him said I need to do this if I want to make a change. I just need you to trust me on this. I need your prayers too.
I’m not going anywhere far. I just feel the need to jot this down. I’m no longer happy with how my career is going. I’ve tried to make it work for me. I’ve changed a lot. I’m doing my work as efficient as possible. I am, as always, punctual. I’ve worked so hard to be the best that I can be. They said I just need a little more push but that push lead me to a cliff that now I have to end this and find another opportunity that would appreciate, if not acknowledge, my talent.
I’ve learned from my mistakes and have been trying to correct it, but all I get is a day-to-day reminder that I’ve made a mistake and I cannot, ever, recover from that slip-up. I always ask myself, why can’t we just move on from that blemish and just appreciate that I’m working so hard to be a better person, now more than ever. You know, this is too much for me to handle and I can no longer breathe.
By all means, you can call me a loser, because I’m giving up – yes, that’s what you call a person when he refuses to fight, right? But the principle that I follow is that, I have to choose my battle – and this battle seems to be a little awkward to take. First of all, I have so much respect for the person involved and I don’t want to lose that only thing I have left for her. I already came to a point where being a loser doesn’t matter to me, at all. Well, at least I am not disrespectful. And that principle only shows how much pride I still have for myself. And this pride I use to start again.
I’ve never been this self-effacing, but I guess this is a sign of maturity. I’m taking this as a challenge and another milestone of the life I’ve learned to love. So I’m saying sorry for what I’ve done wrong and I’m moving on. So help me God. 😀
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