Of Arrows And Ventricles.
The person that I was before that arrow hits me right through my very ventricles is nowhere to find now. I can’t say he’s gone or missing but somehow I can feel he’s hiding from me. I was invincible – at least that’s what I built myself to be as I grew smart, intelligent and bright citizen of the universe. I got this shield from every possible “disaster”. I got this armor I can use in every situation. I got this unconquerable ability to survive from any adversity known to man. I thought I was strong enough and can never be subjugated. Until that arrow dominated my whole scheme and suddenly changed my whole life. I became weak.
Call me shitty, dramatic, non-sense, self-indulgent twaddle- or whatever definitions you can give to someone who talks (or writes) too much – I guess that’s me now. I just can’t deny how fragile I became since the day I officially decided to give it a shot. First try, actually. I can’t believe I am doing things I never thought I’d do, or feel the things I never thought I’d feel for the longest time. It is somehow a realization, a wake up call, a grasp of veracity – that I am still human and no one can leave out this part just that. Everybody goes through this and this is my share – my contribution.
I am not used to being weak yet, although ironically, I’ve been weak all my life. I’m getting the hang of it though. I’m trying. I am just afraid that when all is said and done, at the end of the day, I’d end up to be the one on the losing end. That must be gruesomely terrible it makes me wanna puke my soul out. Terrible.
But what’s keeping me alive despite these horrible emotions?
I guess LOVE is.
I need not say more.