Hindi na daw maglilimlim ang manok ng kanyang mga itlog
napagod na ito kakaupo gayong ilang buwan din naman niyang
binitbit sa tiyan niya ang mabibigat na mga bolang iyon.
hahayaan na lamang niya itong mapisa,
at mananalanging walang maging bugok sa mga ito.
Hindi na lamang siya magtatanong (ang “siya” ay tumutukoy naman sa isang tao, kung sinoman.)
hahayaan niyang sumampal na lamang sa mukha niya
ang katotohanang matagal na niyang iniiwasan.
Ayaw niyang malaman ang bawat detalye ng kanyang nakaraan (ang “kanyang” ay tumutukoy sa iniibig ng “siya” sa tulang ito, kung tula mang maituturing.)
sapagkat ang nakalipas ay hindi na dapat pang binabalikan
mas nais niyang gumawa ng mga bagong ala-ala
at maniwala na lamang na ang bawat pangako, bawat salita,
bawat halik, bawat haplos, bawat yakap at pangarap
May magagawa ba ang bulaklak kung maisipan siyang pitasin,
o kaya’y kung bigla syang dapuan ng bubuyog para makipag-niig?
Isa itong pang-aabuso sa karapatan ng isang nilalang
na pumili ng kanyang makakapareha –
papaano kung pangit ang bubuyog na dumapo sa kanyang
malulusog na talulot? maaari ba siyang magpumiglas
at magsumbong kay Inang Kalikasan na
ang kanyang kagandahan at nilapastangan,
na ang kanyang bulaklak ay ginahasa?
Ito ang kanyang pangarap
ang magising isang umaga kasiping siya.
sa isang kamang malambot,
sa isang klimang malamig,
sa isang mapagparayang simoy ng hangin
habang sumisinghot-singhot, dumadahak-dahak,
dahil sa kanyang “allergic rhinitis”.
GF: Why do you love me?
BF: I have no reason
GF: No. Give me a reason
BF: Oh.okay. Because you’re beautiful, caring and attractive..
Girl was satisfied, Then one day she got sick
and look Terribly Thin, Pale and Weak
GF: Do you still love me?
BF: Now that you’re not pretty and attractive do i have a reason to love you?
Girl Cried. The boy hold her hand and say
BF: Now you Understand? Love doesn’t need reasons. I Love u and still love you no matter what Happens.
“Nasaktan ako dun.”
(tumutukoy sa pagiging tsismoso ng isang manunulat, imbes na wala syang alam at hindi siya nasasaktan, yan tuloy may nalaman sya at nasaktan.)
Walang kwentang mga posts di ba? Haha. ;D
This is the journey I have been praying to The Greater Power up there: to be able to find my true love. And so it came, my true love. For once, I became conscious that somebody up there is watching over me.
In silence, I often pray and ask, “Hey! You up there, I know there’s nothing impossible if You just SAY the word. Can You, just for a couple of minutes, please say that my love and I will last forever until we grow old and our hair turns gray, and no matter how disappointing, annoying and cruel this life may be, we will still end up together?”
But I hear no response from The Greater Power up there, only silence.
So I realized nobody’s really listening to me.
I started praying a little bit louder and ask The Greater Power up there again to bless me and my love the power to overcome every trial, to be able to make ourselves invincible to every pain and temptations that has to come along the way. I also prayed to The Greater Power up there to give us the courage to fight and hold on when everything seems to be hopeless, to be able to make time for each other despite the busy schedules we have as we go through life’s everyday ordeal.
Still, I hear no voice, only white noises.
I started loosing my grip that The Greater Power up there really exist, that it’s all just my imagination. I started believing that The Greater power up there is just a mere product our mind’s eye and nobody’s really paying attention. And so, for the last time, I tried praying to The Greater Power up there, this time, with utmost intensity and sincerity.
I prayed: “Thy will be done.”
The next day, somebody gave me a gift, an e-cigarette.
I was surprised.
Nobody in my entire life have ever given me a gift, not for the purpose of saying that I should live longer so I can be with my love. My love wanted me to be healthy so I can live a little bit longer, maybe so I can be with my love until we grow old, until our hair turns gray, maybe so we can end up together until the end. Maybe… who knows?
If I can be honest, I’d tell you that never a day since we met that I did not worry about what the future holds for the two of us. I’m just keeping it to myself. Maybe I’m trying to avoid the pain that tomorrow may bring shall this journey fails.
But if truth be told, my faith never cease to comfort me that everything will be alright. That I do not have anything to worry about. With every kiss and hug that I get from my love, I couldn’t help but rejoice. Forgive me for this is all new to me. I guess this is the battle I am yet to conquer as we move on to our promises of forever.
So at this point, I should end this here. I surrender everything to The Greater Power up there and live on. I’m here to stay anyway. For the nth time, I’d say this: I am in love, I feel loved and that’s all that matters to me now.
So I’ll end it here.
wait, I’mma puff my e-cigarette first.
(*puff, puff, puff!)
Okay, since no one’s here anyway, can I vent out? I think there’s something wrong somewhere. It could just be me or the people around me, or the environment I am in, I couldn’t exactly decipher but there’s really something wrong somewhere, I couldn’t really tell. I am going crazy but not really sure what the cause or causes are, it’s somewhere between my head and my heart, it’s somewhere between my emotions and my state of mind, could be on the left side, could be on the right, I don’t really know but it’s eating me. I am aware, I know things, I say things, I am smart, I think this is what’s causing this dilemma, but again I couldn’t tell. Or I know exactly what it is, it’s just that I opted not to tell anyone- annoyingly, even to myself. This is disgusting, this is annoying, this going nowhere, this is non-sense, stupid, shallow, superficial. I don’t knooooooooow, fuck!